06 October 2011

Jane Jones: Worst. Vampire. Ever. by Cassie St. Onge

Jane Jones: Worst. Vampire. Ever. Bookplate

For Jane Jones, being a vampire is nothing like you read about in books. In fact, it kind of sucks. She's not beautiful, she's not rich, and she doesn't "sparkle." She's just an average, slightly nerdy girl from an ordinary suburban family (who happens to be vampires.) Jane's from the wrong side of the tracks (not to mention stuck in the world's longest awkward phase), so she doesn't fit in with the cool vampire kids at school or with the humans kids. To top it all off, she's battling an overprotective mom, a clique of high school mean girls (the kind who really do have fangs), and the most embarrassing allergy in the history of the undead, she's blood intolerant. So no one's more surprised than Jane when for the first time in her life, things start to heat up (as much as they can for a walking corpse, anyway) with not one, but two boys. Eli's a geeky, but cute real-live boy in her history class, and Timothy is a beautiful, brooding bloodsucker, who might just hold the key to a possible "cure" for vampirism. Facing an eternity of high school pressure, fumbling first dates, or a mere lifetime together with Timothy, what's a 90-something year-old teen vampire to do?

Fans of the Vladmir Tod Chronicles, You are So Undead to Me, and Jessica's Guide to Dating on the Dark Side will feast on this deliciously readable, smart, and fantastically funny debut.

This was one of the cutest books I have read this year. I love the thought of a dorky, un-conventionally-gorgeous vampire with a blood allergy. Jane is loveable and relatable and she makes me root for her every step of the plot. Zachary is a wonderful character as well, somehow managing to capture the wisdom of the immortal along with the permanent immature mentality of a ten year old. St. Onge has a gift with comedy, and Jane’s voice rings true even through her predicaments. From the amusing premise to the twist on current literary trends to the characterization of the players, this book makes me wish it was twice as long so I’d have twice the fun! In fact, I think the length is my only complaint. I really wish there was more book to love.

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